On the South China Sea

On the South China Sea

Letter from the Management

Dear Sir:
We hope you enjoyed your stay at Nexus Resort.

Unfortunately when you departed, you failed
to secure the sliding glass door to your terrace.
When the maid arrived to clean your room,
she discovered an entire troupe of orangutans
making themselves at home.

Dear Sir, have you ever read
the Curious George books?
Well, take the most exciting scenes
from each book (even the ether-smelling episode)
and act them out in a room the size of ….

Well! Sir, forgive me to say that they went
“Gah-gah!” And, Sir, “gah-gah” is actually
a Malaysian word (we read the stuff you were
faxing to your wife) which we won’t translate
here out of courtesy. We have estimated
the damage at RM 185.00. (We won’t charge you
for the shampoo and lotion that were stolen.)

Also an additional charge of RM 12.00
for one washcloth which our laundry
has determined to be permanently stained.
We can only assume it was the orangutans
who used it as a coffee filter
after you left.

– Kanan Roberts.


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